Addiction Versus Purpose
What are you addicted to Sweet Friend?
Ok, so you don't do heroin, but you are addicted to praise, to sugar, to drama, to coffee, to unavailable lovers, to work, porn, wine, money, food, pain, shame & blame. One way or another, we all belong on a 12 step program.
Whilst “addiction” has historically been associated with the problematic over-consumption of drugs and alcohol, the latest neuro-scientific research in this field has caught up and also further changed our understanding over the last few decades in terms of what’s happening in the brain. It is now evident that a wide range of behaviours, which are repeatedly reinforcing the reward, motivation and memory circuitry are all part of the disease of addiction.
A solid body of scientific evidence suggests that non-substance related behaviours activate reward systems similar to those activated by drugs of abuse. They even produce behavioural symptoms that appear comparable to those produced by the substance use disorders.
In one way or another we all behave like junkies in some sphere of our life.
Essentially whether you’re addicted to sugar, social media or the horse races the neuro-chemistry is pretty much the same. In fact, one could say instead that you are actually addicted to a cheap way of generating dopamine within your own brain.
Coffee generates dopamine, chocolate generates dopamine, your new lover generates dopamine, a ‘like’ on social media generates dopamine, a crypto-currency rise generates dopamine.
Dopamine is love. Dopamine is lust. Dopamine is motivation. Dopamine is attention. Dopamine is addiction.
Dopamine is also purpose however, and this realisation was the key for me in understanding how to support people out of addiction. When people are happy and have a deep sense of purpose, then immersion in that purposeful behaviour sustainably generates a steady supply of dopamine in the brain.
Ripped apart from a community of loving companions and bereft of the tools to identify and pursue whatever constitutes meaningful and purposeful behaviour, we humans become incredibly vulnerable to addictive behaviours.
This is when we turn to ‘old faithful’ – whether that be doom scrolling, over-work or external validation. The trick is to see addiction as a sign that you are not truly supported by your current life and that a course correction is required. This change is simply so that you can sustainably feel that life is intrinsically rewarding, and hence you are motivated to live the choices you continue to make.
But to arrive at this point you must sit long and hard with the question of ‘Why’: why am I here?
The task at hand for both our culture as a whole and for each of us as individuals is to sit deeply with our Why; to offer ourselves a series of answers and to tear each one of them down until something remains that truly eases our restless heart-minds.
An answer that gives us pause, that fundamentally orients us towards meaningfulness and 'being' rather than mere 'having' and 'doing' alone. This answer too will change, but at least we are looking in the right direction.
This is not to deny the manner in which an under-current of self-doubt or self-hatred is almost always involved in addictions. Hard-won experience has taught me that attempting to solve this directly is generally not the best course of action. It’s a vicious cycle indeed, but living a life that you love that enables you to give your gifts deeply is a reliable arena to work on self acceptance.
Finding your Why is not only the anti-dote to your deepest addictions, it is actually why you are here… what you do once you have it is up to you.
With Heart,
Jimi
